Kenyan Church Name Generator

After months of research by both our intrepid field worker and the boffins at Bitterjug.com labs, we are now able to bring you a miracle of modern technology:

Kenyan Church Name Generator

We’ve noticed a proliferation of independent Churches in Kenya, most of them with imaginitive names. It must be hard, we decided, to keep inventing new names for all the new churches that keep springing up. Katie, the Peace Corps volunteer from Tala, made an extensive tour of Western Kenya recently and gathered data on words suitable to appear in the name of a Kenyan church. We present them here for the convenience of anyone setting up a new church in Kenya.

12 Comments

  1. Cad Says:

    Brilliant!
    Mine came up with the “Maximum Miracle Centre” without even having to flush once!
    (presses the payout button and gets his 9 bob back)

  2. Mark Says:

    OK I have to tell you that Maximum Miracle Centre is a real church and it’s really big in Kenya. It comes up first because I programmed it that way. Its really popular, I know someone who goes to the one in Tala and they have singing and preaching and everything. I don’t know what its like beyond that but the name sounds like the ultimate scam to me and Im amazed anyone takes it seriously.

    But they do.

    I once told my students that they ought not to rely on Maximum Miracle education, where I come to the front of the class each day and preach at them and eventually, by a miracle, they learn something.

  3. The Engineer Says:

    I just tested the Church Name Generator on MSIE 5.00 and there is some sort of bug in the Javascript code that means the lights dont flash. It gives an error message too. D(

  4. Lydia Says:

    I love it! More fun than what I ought to be doing!
    Yeah, the professional dyke haircut is quite a bit shorter – the nape of my neck is clearly visible. In the interests of keeping my job I restrained myself from having it even shorter.

  5. Mark Says:

    They’d sack you for short hair?

    I won’t bother applying! 0)

  6. Penny Says:

    looks like im off to start the “Glory Breakthrough of God” centre!
    Like the toilet.

  7. jan Says:

    holy assembly brotherhood.
    like my putor these last few days .. and I have just re booted my router and got it working when all else failed .. I think they cannot spell my password ,,
    and I can and I am dis lex ik !!
    xx Jan

  8. sheila Says:

    Hi Mark i generated Error 404. In my incredibly long suffering experience I think that is a top name for a church in Kenya!!! Salutations from a wet and windy UK cant wait to see you back here and have a hug. :7

  9. Mark Says:

    Heh Sheila,
    I seem to have buggered up the links when I set the page counters up. But worth it for your comment. Error 404 is a great name for a Kenyan church! Now, what can I do to fix this problem, which also seems to have made all the photos and pictures disappear!… ;]

  10. Mark Says:

    I’ve turned permanent links off again, as they were when I set this site up. That means the URLs of pages look like this:-

    http://…blog/?p=276#comment-1246

    Instead of like this:-

    http://…blog/2005/10/26/kenyan-church-name-generator/

    … and the statistics have all been reset 🙁 . But my pictures are appearing again 🙂 . I will fix it properly when I finally make contact with my web host and switch the domain names over. Meanwhile, please bear with me.

  11. Gordon Says:

    Great minds think alike although mine was really about Niogerian churches setting up in the UK:

    http://www.hudson.nu/church-name-generator.html

  12. Mark Says:

    Oops, mine is no longer here.
    Since I moved servers. Gordon, if you want to take a look I think it is still here.